Dear friends, new and old, and acquaintances alike:
Yesterday I shared a piece of writing that I've been working on for months, pouring myself into and worrying over. I've neglected publishing any of my work anywhere outside my own website. This story, however, has been eating at me, and it's my hope that I can share it with you and some of you may relate.
I tackle the grand topic of friendship, what it means to me personally, and what it can mean to all of us; cardinally, I discuss two of the most important friendships in my life. This summer I lost two of my best friends: one to an exciting new job in a new state, and one to a mistake, leading to the most indescribably painful "break up" of my 26 years. Many of you know these friends, and perhaps many of you know the details surrounding these occurrences; many of you may not. I wrote this piece as a form of exploration, explanation, self-therapy, and seeking understanding. I can't even begin to describe how much I (still) love each of these friends. I can't even fathom it.
I decided to pitch this piece to a number of outlets, and it was picked up by very well read, well respected, and popular feminist-leaning online magazine (an unexpected compliment). However after many weeks of consideration, I decided to publish with Medium, as their platform allows for full control over your own work and doesn't seek to water down your content. I am eternally grateful to the many friends that read this with me and workshopped it, giving their honest input and support.
Honestly, I am horrified of posting this. I'm horrified of making myself this vulnerable, even though I've always been comfortable with sharing on social media. This summer forced me into the most jarring self-evaluation possible, and really, I hope some of you may be able to feel something by reading this. I hope some of you may feel less alone if a friend has ever left your life, even if you agreed with it and even if you didn't; even if it was your fault or even if it simply just happened. I hope some of you begin to really value your own identity outside of those you love as I've been learning to do. I'm already floored by those reaching out to me as a result of posting this piece; I cannot believe my luck when it comes to the people in my life. I am unworthy of this amount of love, so thank you.
If you get the chance to do so, thank you for reading - and thank you for being a part of my life either years ago or still today. #longreads #bothofthesethings